The Pope's words about the irruption of death in family life are true, warm, and extraordinarily in correspondence with my experience as a father left with four children after the death of my wife in 1990. The smallest of the four was three, and she kept saying, "My mom is in the hospital, but Dad does not go to see her." When there was cake, she would put a piece aside, saying, "This is for mom, when she comes back."
When I told her that her mom is in Heaven, she wanted to be picked up and taken to the window so that she could look up there. I have always told the truth to the children, and I always used the same words with her as when I spoke with the others. When I returned from the clinic to tell them that their mother had died, she was on my lap while I was talking to the others. When I told her, "Mom is dead; she won't return; she's in Heaven, and one day we will go to Heaven and meet her there"—as I spoke, she looked at the others to see in their faces if my words were true, or if I was saying this just for her. It was a fight to help her understand the mystery of her mom's absence, although I had chosen not to hide anything, but to allow her to participate—in my arms—in the farewell Mass and take her with us on visits to the grave. The Lord helped, and we did not lack serenity, in spite of the difficulty of the hardship. (Luigi Accattoli)
In this commentary, Luigi Accattoli, journalist of "Corriere della Sera," now remarried, refers to his first wife, Michela Ceccon (1947-1990), who died from cancer. We note the spirit of trust in the Lord with which the Accattoli family lived this hardship. Here is a prayer that Louis wrote in the name of the children on the first Easter without their mother.
The Family's Prayer after the death of its mother
Lord you cried over the death of Lazarus,
whom you loved
and over the pain of his sisters, Martha and Mary,
remember all the friends who have cried with us,
who help us in the house and invite us to their homes,
who speak with us on the phone and write to us,
who think fondly of us,
who recall us when they are with You.
Smile, Lord, at those who think of us when they are joyful
and would like us to be happy with them.
Remember the women and men
who have written to us although we do not know them.
The affection that comes from people we have never seen
is for us, a sign of the love of your Father
whom we cannot see.
May no one who has remembered us
Ever remain alone in life
and even feel the fear of being alone.
May they always have the joy of being welcomed by brothers and sisters
as you wanted this to happen to us.
May no one ever be alone in the face of illness
and the dark passage that leads to you.
We pray for them together with our Michela.
Remember her, who kept her smile and faith.
Recall us to her, may she be happy.
Help us to feel her full of joy
as we knew her.
Help us to believe that we will be with her again.
Let your light shine on her,
may she live in your peace forever. Amen
Matilde Beniamino Agnese Valentino Luigi (Rome, Easter 1991)
Giovanni Fallani
La tomba è vuota
"When I arrive, will you come get me?"
