If "conjugal love" is lost, the family becomes divided, and the disintegration falls like a "landslide" onto the children. Speaking about separation at today’s General Audience in St. Peter's Square, Pope Francis reflected on "the wounds that open" within family life, when "people hurt one another" in the family. Then, he invited asked the faithful to accompany families "in so-called irregular situations" so that "children do not become hostages of the father or the mother."
"All injury and abandonment of a father and a mother affect the flesh of children," the Pope continued: "when a man and a woman, committed to being 'one flesh' and forming a family, think obsessively of their need for freedom and gratification, this bias deeply affects the hearts and lives of their children. Often children hide to cry alone."
Despite "refined psychological analyses," and all the talk "about the behavioral disorders, mental health, and well-being of the child, of parents' and children's anxiety," the Pope wondered "if we are not anesthetized" to the wounds of the soul of the children. "The more someone tries to compensate with presents and treats, the more he loses the sense of the wounds—the most painful and deepest ones—of the soul."
The Pope calls to reflect on the "weight of the mountain that crushes a child's soul," the weight of "bad choices,… when adults lose their heads, when everyone thinks only of himself, and when Dad and Mom hurt one another, the children suffer in their souls and feel a sense of despair. Now, these are wounds that leave a mark for life." On the other hand, however, "there are cases where separation is inevitable": sometimes it can even become "morally necessary, precisely when it means saving the weaker spouse, or small children, from more serious harm caused by the arrogance and violence, by humiliation and exploitation, by estrangement and by indifference."
Some people who are separated recognize "in this solitude a call addressed to them by the Lord." However, the Pope added, "around us, we find a number of families in so-called irregular situations—I do not like this term—and we ask many questions. How to help? How to accompany them? How to accompany them so that the children do not become hostages of the father or the mother?" This is why Francis called the faithful to ask the Lord for "great faith," in order to look at reality through the eyes of God, and "great charity", so that we may approach people with His merciful heart.
